I have always wondered if I wrote a book about my experiences, observations, and life in general, would anyone want to read it? At times my life has taken some interesting twists. Some I laugh at. Some I cry over. Some I just sit and look back on with an astounded look plastered on my face. I think everyone can have an interesting life. It's just how you look back on it. Do you see your life as interesting? I do, because I have an amazing cast of characters in my life. But, my story isn't complete yet. The plot has still yet to be written or revealed.
From my crazy family to my even crazier friends, I have been blessed with the people that surround me. From my dad, Burr, who is the smartest person I know, to my dear friend, Jeremy, who is the most intelligent man I know, most people drive my desire to continually learn. From my sister, Rachel, who I swear would make a great nun if they had a better wardrobe, to my best friend, Misty, one of the most faithful people I know, most people drive my desire to continually grow and mature in my faith.
I don't always remember all of the details. I have bits and pieces of my memory. There are some years that I can't remember at all (and that is entirely my fault). But I want to document some of my memories. I hope someone else can learn from my life; maybe it will be what not to do, or maybe what they can do. I think the biggest lesson I have learned so far is to laugh. Enjoy every little minute, because time is so small. It is not guaranteed. When I die, I want to donate my body to science. It's another way to let someone learn from me. I don't need this body anymore, let someone else use it.
Last year, we gave my dad journals, pens, stationary, etc. so that he could write down some of his memories and stories. He has great stories. I don't want my dad to pass and we lose all of these great stories. It's part of our history. Well we gave him that challenge, so why have I not done this myself? I need to write my own history.
"Tomorrow hopes we have learned something from yesterday."—John Wayne.
I don't plan on writing anything in any particular order. Just writing. But, if I learned a lesson from it, I want to share it.
I guess the best love lesson I have learned is that I deserve someone who loves me for who I am not who they can change me into. I once dated a guy that asked me to act one way in front of his parents, one way in front of his sisters, another in front of his brother in law, another way in front of his friends, another in front of his co-workers, and he let me be myself around him, most of the time. I'm sorry, but that is too many people to try and please. He would have been better off dating someone with multiple/split personalities. That just is not me. I wish him all the best in life and love. But, that is one reason I could not love him. What you see is what you get. If you are ashamed of who I am, don't waste my time.
I had another relationship that ended for pretty much the same reason. But, it was for a much funnier reason. Ok, maybe it wasn't that funny. But I laugh pretty hard about it now; when it happened I cried. He was a great boyfriend! We went and did fun stuff together: hiking, biking, walking, kayaking, etc. And, he also liked to eat healthy which was great! He was always very cautious about where we ate because of my peanut allergy. He wanted me to be proud of who I was and how I looked. He was really good with picking out makeup for me to try. That right there should have been my big tip off. He was in the army and he was deployed twice during our relationship. When he came back from the second deployment, he confessed to cheating on me during his deployment. He cheated on me with a man; a man dressed like a woman. Can I admit that it was a real blow to my ego that he was more attracted to a man dressed as a woman then he was to me? I was hurt. We didn't talk for almost a year, but I forgave him, and still have a friendship with him and his partner. And, I know I will always get a cute makeup item for my birthday and Christmas from them. But, I couldn't be what he wanted. I can only be me.
I deserve someone who loves me for who I am. Yes, I do think he can desire for me to be a better me, just as long as I stay me. I know that sounds odd, but hear me out. I am a Christian and I believe in being equally yoked. I want a relationship where we continually yearn to build each other up in Christ. Being able to have someone to understand you on that level is important. I want a relationship based on friendship. I want to be able to laugh with him, cry with him, encourage him, and support him. If this friendship becomes a relationship that leads to a family, that would be great. Because then, my strong Christian man can lead our family, be the head of the household that God has outlined for our lives. This is what I deserve and I will settle for nothing less.
I am superstitious, and as I type there is a guy trying to sweep under my feet. I just told him not to do that because I want to get married someday. I think he thought I was hitting on him. Sorry dude.
Oh, and I have decided I have a strong disliking of Word's grammar check. It keeps telling me to use are instead of is when I really should be using is. Who wrote these rules on Word?
I got off subject. I will come back later and write more. Maybe one day this blog will be all collected up and combined into a book. That might be interesting. Ok, maybe it only sounds interesting to me.
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