My father has always been very difficult to buy gifts for. Sometimes, I think he doesn’t care what we get him, but the creativity and thought that go into the gift are more important to him. Never the less, sometimes it is difficult to keep our gifts away from Daddy, because he peeks, he cheats and he spies. So this year, my sisters and I decided if that is what he wants, then that is what he is going to get!
Our father taught us at an early age to be creative. And as we grew, he encouraged our creativity. This is all his fault. It is his fault, because he taught us to be creative. Now, we are using this gift of creativity against him.
For Father’s Day, my dad had to become a spy. He had to follow clues, meet with fellow agents, and meet deadlines to achieve his secret mission set upon him by mission control.
I am no Tom Clancy. My dad is clearly no James Bond. But, this is our spy story. So sit back and enjoy. We now present “The Hunt For Burr’s Lost Marbles”
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Internal Memo
To: Secret Agent Spy Story Reader
From: Mission Control
Re: The Hunt For Burr’s Lost Marbles
Date: 06/20/10
We want you to be familiar with all agents associated with “The Hunt For Burr’s Lost Marbles”
Secret Agent Name Civilian Name Relation
1.I’ve Lost My Marbles Burr Mathews Patriarch, and head spy
2.Wreck Rebekah Mathews Burr’s oldest daughter
3.Dr Dork Rachel Mathews Burr’s middle daughter
4.FreakFace Brinkley Mathews Burr’s youngest daughter
5.Clover Elaine Mathews Burr’s wife and best friend
6.Peppermint Pat Binkley Burr’s Choir Buddy
7.99 Robert Fowler Burr’s Co-Fish Camper
8.Man of Many Voices Danny Atchley Burr’s Co-Fish Camper/Choir Go-er
9.Banjo Paul Hart Burr’s Co-Fish Camper
10.Them are some big ole guns Chet Beck Burr’s awesome neighbor
11.Wavy Fingers Matt Plunk Burr’s Choir Director
12.8 point Gary Keyt Burr’s Friend and awesome guy
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Date: 25APR2010
Time: 1900 hours
Place: Mission Control
Our story begins on a beautiful spring day. Butterflies ride the lazy breeze; bees sip lazily on the nectar of spring’s first bloom; and neighbors congregate on their porch fronts with sweet iced tea in hand. It seemed to be the perfect end to a perfect day in the small haven of Springfield. Downstairs an old man sits in his rocking chair reminiscing about “the old days,” the smoke of his cigarette dancing gracefully, reflecting the peace and tranquility of his story. The young adults sit on the porch and steps, cold brews slightly sweating in their hands as they listen in an almost trance-like state to the old man. No one downstairs knew that their neighbor upstairs, the one they deemed “the pizza chick,” was in distress. They knew nothing about her, and that was how she liked it. They would never guess that upstairs was not a simple apartment, it was mission control. Their thoughts were never imaginative or conspiratorial enough to guess that the small apartment upstairs was anything but what it seemed. They could not look deep enough past the exterior door to discover that is was mission control for the group only known as M.E. And at this very moment Secret Agent Wreck was on a very important conference call with Secret Agent Dr. Dork over at the staging area.
“He must be stopped,” lamented Agent Wreck.
“That he must! All of our careful planning is ruined if he intercepts even one little clue! He is no Aloysius X.L. Pendergast, but he is one smart cookie,” Agent Dr. Dork replied.
“Smart cookie!? He is a facinorous-fiend! One little slip up by mission control’s shipping agent, UPS, and within twenty minutes all details were uncovered. And by that time the mission could not be aborted. The final drop off was mere days away. All of mission control’s countless nights and endless planning thwarted, and by who? Douglas Burr Mathews! Who is that!? He is no one in the international scheme of things. I mean come on, he’s just a field engineer for goodness sake!”
“Let’s give him a little credit. He is the Senior field engineer.”
“Yeah, senior. You know what that means? He’s old.”
At this Dr. Dork chortled and continued, “He’s not old, he is perceptive and experienced.”
“Ok, whatever,” Wreck rolled her eyes. “That still does not mean he has to demolish all of our plans! Who does he think he is? James Bond!?”
“Now, wait a minute, you may have an idea there.”
“Well I’m full of ideas, but which one?”
“Instead of working against him, why not work with him?”
“Um, because GE Medical wouldn’t hire me.”
“You’re joking right?” Dr Dork looked worried.
“Of course I am! I see what you’re saying. Instead of mission control trying to act against these dastardly deeds, why not have mission control actually control his moves and the clues he does get?”
“Agent Wreck, you are an evil genius! Perfectly put, we control what clues he gets.” The thought of a counter-terrorism attempt brought a sparkle to Dr. Dork’s eyes.
“Let us think more on this, and conference again in two days time to iron out details. Same time, same place?”
“I must agree. I need to sleep, my ‘civilian job’ requires the utmost attention.”
“Haha, yes indeed. Well guten nacht. Agent Wreck over and out.”
“Agent Dr. Dork over and out,” and with that the undercover conference was over, and a mission, like never attempted before in the simple town of Springfield, had begun.
Wreck looked around mission control, shut down her encrypted link, and went downstairs to make an appearance as “the pizza chick”, on a normal night, hanging out on the front porch with her neighbors. No one would know what had transpired upstairs. Not yet at least.
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01MAY2010 2100HRS
As the rain continued to fall, Wreck waited impatiently at mission control. Dr. Dork was supposed to have connected to their secure link at 2000HRS. In one short week many ideas had been tossed around; some were good, some were bad, and some were downright ugly. Agent Wreck flipped through channels on the TV while keeping an eye on her secure link panel. Just as she decided to watch Tomorrow Never Dies, there was a notice that a connection had been made on the secure link. Wreck rushed to the computer, “Agent Dr. Dork! You’re late! Please do not tell me you forgot about our scheduled conference. There is much to tell you and there is not a lot of time before the satellite is out of range and our link is broken!”
“Ok, Agent Wreck, I won’t tell you I forgot so we don’t waste time with a lecture.” Dr. Dork continued, “Fill me in on the progress.”
“The mission has been approved as code name ‘The Hunt For Burr’s Lost Marbles.’ Secret Agent Peppermint and Secret Agent 99 have signed on.”
Agent Wreck checked the screen as a notice popped up that an unauthorized user had tried to connect to the secure link. “Stupid civilians! They think they can crack our encrypted connection. Anyways, Secret Agent FreakFace has been given confidential access to the mission and been briefed on all the details. Her package will be delivered to the drop spot by 12JUN2010.”
“The drop spot has been secured. What about Secret Agents Clover, Man of Many Voices, Banjo, and Them Are Some Big Ole Guns, have they confirmed?” Dr. Dork reviewed the checklist to ensure they were on the same page.
“Agent Clover has confirmed and will be monitoring I’ve Lost My Marbles’ progress. She will also be assisting when necessary. Mission control is still waiting on confirmation from the other agents.”
“Good. Do you think we should bring in two more agents for good measure? That will surely keep I’ve Lost My Marbles on his toes.”
“I had thought of that. Do you think we can trust Agent Wavy Finger and Agent 8 Point?”
“I had thought about them. Their background checks have cleared and both passed the M.E. agent review. Interestingly enough, they have been ranked superb for ‘secrecy in top missions.’ I see no reason not to trust them,” Dr. Dork remarked as she pulled up a web window to browse on anthropologie.com.
“Ok, I will make contact and secure cooperation.”
“Ooh, cute comforter,” exclaimed Dr Dork.
“Agent, don’t let yourself get distracted! This is a very important mission and you are looking at comforters!”
“Well you seem to have everything under control. Keep me updated. I think we are losing the signal. Keep up the good work. Agent Dr. Dork over and out.”
“Are we losing our signal or do you want to shop? Agent Wreck over and out.”
“Both! Over and out.” Dr. Dork looked guiltily at the comforter and decided to wait until another day.
Wreck shut down the secure link and looked at the growing mound of paperwork surrounding mission control. Comforters! Agent Dr. Dork was easily distracted, but her high intelligence and trustworthiness made her a great asset and ally. Wreck glanced at the screen briefly to watch James Bond, and then looked back at her computer. She already had two sets of mission briefing documents to type up, and there would be up to seven more. If she didn’t get started, the mission would be delayed before it could begin. Wreck cracked her knuckles and began to type. It was going to be a long night and the storm outside did nothing to lighten her mood. With the crashing of thunder outside, the beating of the rain on the window, and the blaring of the civilian’s radio downstairs, Agent Wreck worked continuously until she could type no more. She let out a long sign as she shut down the machines. The rest could wait until tomorrow when there was more coffee. The rain continued and made Agent Wreck’s eyes feel heavier than all the paperwork she still had to shift through. A weary mind made more mistakes and the mission would not allow a single mistake. It was better to turn in than to compromise the operation. ‘A comforter’ thought Wreck as she shook her head and shambled to the bedroom inside mission control. A good night’s sleep was what she needed. The symphony of the storm raging outside continued as she slipped into a dreamless sleep.
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02MAY2010
Secret Agents Dr. Dork and FreakFace worked hard to keep up their civilian disguise as sisters. Today they were supposed to be posing as backstage hands at the annual Davidson Academy Dance Company recital. This ruse gave them a perfect opportunity to meet up with Secret Agent Them are Some Big Ole Guns, whose daughter was a member of DADC, to secure his cooperation. Time was of the essence, and the storm that had raged continuously through the night was working against them. Routes from mission control and the safe houses were slowly being blocked by the rising river. In fact, the rise of the Cumberland had thwarted their plans as the recital was delayed by a day due to the weather. Being the intellectual one, Dr. Dork decided to meet up with Them Are Some Big Ole Guns at the church he attended with his family. No one would be any wiser as Dr. Dork and FreakFace had become members of the church to complete their disguise as proper small town residents.
Dr. Dork slipped not so quietly and not so gracefully into the pew next to Them Are Some Big Ole Guns and his family. With whispered conversation and hushed laughter shared between Them Are Some Big Ole Guns’ daughter, Jesse, and Dr. Dork, it looked like good friends catching up before the service started. Dr. Dork leaned over and began whispering to Them Are Some Big Ole Guns and his wife, Dee. To everyone else in the small church nothing seemed out of order as this was a ritual that occurred almost every Sunday Dr. Dork attended. Dee slowly faded away from the small talk and began to read the church bulletin.
“Secret Agent Them Are Some Big Ole Guns have you thought about your involvement in the mission at hand?” Dr. Dork quietly asked.
“Yes, I’m in. Good idea having I’ve Lost My Marbles come to me to retrieve the package. It will look like neighbors visiting. No one will think twice about it,” replied Them Are Some Big Ole Guns.
“Our thoughts, indeed. I will have Secret Agent Wreck deliver your mission briefing documents soon.”
“Right then.” Them Are Some Big Ole Guns leaned back and in a slightly louder voice asked, “So when are your dad and mom coming back?”
“Next Saturday, I bet they are glad they are missing these storms.”
“Yes, I bet they are.” Them Are Some Big Ole Guns shot a glance at his daughter to warn her that she was getting a little too loud. Them Are Some Big Ole Guns did not have to disguise himself as much as the other agents. Everyone knew he was a Blackhawk mechanic for the US Army. They just didn’t know what other covert missions he was involved in.
The church service began as the rain continued to fall outside. By the time church let out the rivers had risen, covering roadways surrounding the quiet little haven of Springfield. Secret Agent Dr. Dork could not return to the staging area that night, nor could Secret Agent FreakFace return to her civilian life and civilian boyfriend. A 500 year flood had come to Middle Tennessee, but this would not delay the plan. The Hunt For Burr’s Lost Marbles had secured another agent.
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22MAY2010
In just over two weeks, six agents had confirmed. Mission control was awaiting confirmation from the elusive Agent 8 Point. Wreck sat in mission control absent mindedly tapping her fingers on the keyboard without triggering a reaction. Many thoughts had run through her head that day. ' What if Agent I've Lost My Marbles doesn't go along with the plan? What if one of the agents falters and lets slip the true nature of the mission? I've Lost My Marbles was intelligent, but what if he over complicated things? Would he have the right protection in case of danger, we wouldn't want to send him into a gun battle with a Bowie knife.' Communication with the staging area wasn't supposed to take place until 25MAY2010 but Wreck had connected to M.E.'s secure link anyways.
Usually watching a John Wayne flick calmed the agent down, but today all it did was remind her of I've Lost My Marbles. She turned the movie Hellfighters off and switched back to the cable station where Dirty Jobs was on. Without caring she dropped the remote to the floor. Thoughts of the mission floated back to the forefront of her mind.
‘Would he recognize the other agents? Was there a way for the other agents to signal their alliance with him?’ Wreck sat back as she tried to push the doubts from her head.
“AGENT WRECK! AGENT WRECK! WAKE UP!” Dr. Dork was yelling through the secure link.
“I’m sorry. I think I drifted off.” Agent Wreck sat up straight in her seat.
“I had a brain wave that we could use!” Agent Dr. Dork spit out quickly (which was common for her when she was excited). “I was doing a mental check of everything we have done already. We need a SIGNAL!”
“Ok, I know I may still be a little foggy brained, but please explain. A signal?”
“Yes. I was thinking that Agent I’ve Lost My Marbles tends to over complicate matters instead of looking at the simple things! The KISS principle just doesn’t stick with him. Why don’t we have the other agents play with marbles so he knows he has reached an agent in the alliance?”
“Bloody brilliant!”
“Thank goodness, I was starting to think that our mission was too simple. He might over think it.”
“That’s what I’ve been worrying about all day! I dozed off worrying about it.”
“That is why we have Agent Clover tracking his progress.” Agent Dr. Dork pointed out and continued, “She can encourage him to not give up.”
“Yes, but knowing him he will not give up.”
“No, he won’t. That is why we are all systems go. Have the mission briefing documents been distributed?”
“Not yet. Agent Clover and I have a rendezvous at 1600 01JUNE2010 to pass off information.”
“It’s good to see that you have everything under control down there,” Dr. Dork said appreciatively. “This mission cannot succeed without your brains and organization skills.”
“Agent Dr. Dork, your flattery embarrasses me. But you have been the one with most of the good ideas.”
“Why thank you. To proceed. Please send confirmation after the hand off.”
“Will do. Agent Wreck over and out.”
“Agent Dr. Dork over and out.”
Wreck looked around Mission Control; her feeling of doubt had subsided. With everything done until time for next week’s handoff she could relax for once. She went back to watching Dirty Jobs. Today, Mike Rowe was making marbles. Was that a good omen?
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01JUN2010 1600HRS
“Pay close attention to what I am saying. I cannot give you a set of mission briefing documents because of your close relationship with Agent I’ve Lost My Marbles. We cannot risk him discovering anything until the designated time.” Wreck glanced around nervously. The time had come for the handoff with Agent Clover. The location for the handoff had been specifically chosen for the fact that it was a visitor’s spot in town, locals did not visit here normally. Passing documents here would not seem out of the ordinary. Last year Wreck had secured a position there to make handoffs less suspicious.
“Ok, I’m set to meet up with Agent Peppermint tonight to give her mission briefing documents. I can hold on to the other mission briefing documents until I meet up with the other agents,” Clover seemed to understand what her role was.
“Where are you going to secure the documents until distribution?”
“Well my house of course,” Clover seemed to think that should have been understood.
“Agent Clover! Might I remind you that YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY! If he found any evidence before the appointed time, the mission will be blown! Maybe you should just take Agent Peppermint’s mission briefing documents, and I will keep the rest until we can meet up again.”
“Yes, that would probably be better. You know how I am.”
“Yes, ma’am. Keep it simple.”
“Ok, well I am going to go and meet with Agent Peppermint so she can make the drop off tonight,” Clover said as she started to turn to leave.
“Very good. Please confirm once the drop off is complete.”
“Roger.” With that the two agents said their goodbyes and Clover left. Wreck lingered with a worried look on her face. She trusted Agent Clover with her whole being. But of all the agents, she worried the most about Clover. That simple statement, ‘at my house of course,’ made Wreck rethink the necessity of using Clover. She had an almost sixth sense about most situations, especially when it came to I’ve Lost My Marbles. That fact alone could be very useful. However, the fact remained that Clover could never get more than “Almost Satisfactory” on her annual ME agent review. She had a consistent history of revealing vital mission plans before the allotted time. No agent involved in mission Pocket Watch could forget how she had let the beans slip. In this mission that could be dangerous. Could she be discreet and secretive enough until the mission was complete? Only time could tell. Only time would tell.
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Agent Peppermint,
Your mission if you choose to accept it:
Give the enclosed note and marble to your fellow agent Burr Mathews aka “Agent I’ve Lost My Marbles.”
The note simply reads “All will be revealed in the woods.”
Just give him the note and marble. If he asks any questions, please don’t answer. If you feel the need to answer him anything, please just say “I think you’ve lost your marbles, Burr,” and walk away!
We thank you for your continued cooperation and support. This message will not self destruct.
God Bless,
Agent Wreck
Agent Dr. Dork
Agent FreakFace
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This story is to be continued. Part 2 will be coming soon I promise, I just couldn't keep some people (ahem Rachel aka Secret Agent Dr. Dork) in suspense.
